Contributed by Julie Schoch
Used with permission
I am the mother of a child who was almost aborted due to the "counselling" given at the abortion clinic. My daughter's birth mom was raped at 13. She was taken to the clinic where she spent (according to her mother) approximately 6 hours. During this time she was given an ultrasound, but was not permitted to see the screen. She was counselled by staff, including a "doctor" who told her at 20 wks, that her baby wasn't formed yet. When she asked about adoption, she was told, "No one will want a bi-racial, rapist's baby". When she still hesitated, they told her if she did not consent to the abortion, she would die (due to her age). So, believing she would die giving birth to a baby no one would want, she gave in & they started to manually dilate her cervix with metal rods for a D&E. She was awake because her mother wasn't told to bring enough money to cover general anesthesia. During the painful dilation process, she got upset & the abortionist stopped & told her mom "she is making my job too difficult" and had them reschedule to allow the mother to get more money.
We were total strangers & from different states when my husband & I heard about the pressure this young lady was under to abort. Her older sister (a Christian) sought help from a friend of mine who is post-abortive. My friend contacted me for help because I am a pro-life educational speaker. My friend & the girl's older sister wanted to see if I would be willing to share accurate information about fetal development & abortion w/ this young lady; which I agreed to do. At the time I was told about this situation, I had a 2 yr old son & a 2 wk old daughter & was recovering from a c-section. When we heard about this girl & her situation, we realized she was being manipulated & didn't have an advocate. We further realized if we were going to ask a 13 yr old 8th grader to take a stand for the life of her baby, then we had to do absolutely everything we could to make that a realistic possiblility for her. We knew we needed to offer to adopt her baby. We didn't realize that our offer revealed the lie told to her by the clinic that "no one will want a bi-racial, rapist's baby". ( My daughters are exactly 6 months & 2 days apart. It was a lot like having twins! )
During the week before the rescheduled abortion, the young mother learned the truth about fetal development, her risks & options. That someone (my husband & I) would love her baby & that the baby was not "unwanted" under any circumstances. Once she had accurate information, she chose life. The young mom had been given STD testing at the clinic, but never given the results. Her consent to the abortion was made without full disclosure by the staff. She could not, therefore, make an educated decision. Once she chose life & adoption, she started prenatal care & was again tested. Her rapist had given her Chlamydia, which left untreated & particularly if inserted into a womb raw from the instruments of an abortion, could have made her sterile. They cared so much for her "reproductive future" that they NEVER bothered to tell her about the disease. She may have aborted at 13 the ONLY baby she ever would have been able to conceive. Thankfully, she was treated by her OB & cured. Her ob/gyn also performed an ultrasound which produced an amazing image of my daughter's face at 23 wks. This photo brought great joy to both her family & ours. She framed the picture of the "rapist's spawn". I hung my copy on my refridgerator.
We met in her state prior to the birth & had a lovely meeting w/ our daughter's birth mom, her mother, & her sister. She invited me to be in the delivery room (what an honor!), asked if we had been thinking of names and if she could share a name she really liked. Two weeks prior to the meeting, we had heard a name that we loved & were planning to name the baby. The name she offered & the name we had chosen was THE SAME NAME!
When she delivered, I was in the room. I think somewhere deep down, some in the room, after the "counseling", were believing that a tiny rapist was going to emerge. A monster with horns. I've heard of babies conceived from rape referred to as "demon seed" and "the Devil's spawn". But no. This was a precious baby girl w/ dark curls & fat cheeks. The tears of pure joy in that room were flowing freely & the love expressed for each other & this tiny baby was beyond measure. Some make wild assumptions & justifications for abortion following a rape without the life knowledge of what living through the experience is really like...or what it could be like. Our daughter's birth mom has remained a part of our lives & we keep in regular contact...we LOVE her too! She thanks us for adopting & raising her daughter...how humbling. She loves her daughter & is, in every way, the very definition of a "mother" because she showed selfless love for her child. We honor her. Shortly after the delivery & adoption, she accepted Christ as her Saviour. She was able to finish school, graduate, continue her education & is a medical assistant with goals to work with the babies in the hospital where she delivered.
My daughter was not left unscarred by the attempt on her life. While her life was miraculously spared, she continues to suffer the effects of the dilation process & possibly from whatever medications her birth mom was given at the clinic. She has multiple delays, requires PT, OT, speech & behavior therapy & experienced seizures (thankfully they are under control). She is nearly 7 yrs old & we are believing she will be able to potty train. Our goal is help her reach her maximum potential & we know that God rescued her for a purpose. We rejoice that we have the privledge of having a front row seat to what He is going to do through her for His glory! Please pray for her & her continued progress. Thank you!
So what NOW? And what role does the church play?:
I've been blessed w/ the opportunity to speak in some of our local schools & church groups. I am the Director of Respond For Life. We work w/ local groups including our area Crisis Pregnancy Centers to help meet the needs of women in our community who are in a crisis pregnancy or who are post abortive, but we bookend our efforts by educating about & encouraging foster care & adoption. Currently, we as the Body look like hypocrites. We say there are no unwanted children & the pro-aborts see a system full of "unwanted" children lanquishing away in foster care. Not only are we called to be a "father to the fatherless", we as the Body, are best suited for this task because we will raise these children to know Christ. We will teach them how to live in relationship w/ Him, how to be a husband/wife, mother/father. We will be "Jesus w/ skin on" and we will introduce them to Him. Further, if we REALLY believe we are going to end legalized abortion, we need to be prepared to welcome these children into our homes because there will still be mothers who cannot or do not want to raise their children. If we do not prepare by completing a homestudy, we will not be ready to receive the children God could sent to us through adoption. We decided to do this personally & are certified foster-to-adopt parents. We have 1 adopted daughter, 4 bio kids & I am expecting...so 6 kids & counting! LOL! It is catching on in our church & several couples are now certified or are in the process. We have also helped our local Children's Services department by providing filled backpacks & lunch bags for every child in foster care in our county. We also included a Bible & a letter of encouragement for them & their foster parents. Our current initiative is to address God''s plan for sex, fertility, & babies in marriage & the way His plan has been distorted by our culture. It is a touchy subject & one I am in much prayer about. The mindset is what has directly lead to the problems we are facing with divorce & abortion, so I feel it should be addressed in the church.
Comments
Hope many people get to read about this.
process has been no piece of cake and there have obviously been many ongoing difficulties to face but the adoptive mother and father, who I'm sure has provided his fair share of support and comfort, simply leave me feeling so humbled. May God bless you abundantly
now and for eternity.